User Profile

"He was a bold man that first eat an oyster."
-Johnathon Swift

I realize that this is not actually a bio. It's more of a list of me quoting random things I enjoy. So, consider this my bio!

My name is Matt.
I have a cat.
I don't wear a hat,
('cept if it's Halloween)
My girlfriend is Megan.
We like to laugh at Reagen.
Not one of us is Pagan,
(but it's cool to read about)
I'm a total dork.
Prefer chicken over pork.
But I'll have either on my fork,
(though my family is jewish)
My life's right now a wager,
Cause I'm an English major.
I'll always be a stranger,
(unless you talk to me)
So now you know about me,
Though there's a bit more to see,
Like that I don't like Pepsi,
(and now I think we're done)


I don't normally rap about myself, or anything for that matter, but this...it just seemed right in the moment.


My new philosophy:
1: Say Dr Pepper is the most delicious thing in the world (which it is)
2: And then you became a vampire and blood was the most delicious thing in the world
3: Naturally and logically, blood would taste like Dr. Pepper!
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Prepare for trouble...
...and make it double!
To protect the world from devistation,
To unite all peoples within our nation.
To denounce the evils of truth and love,
To extend our reach to the stars above!
Jessie!
James.
Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!
Surrender now or prepare to fight!
________


Gollum: "We wants it, we needs it. Must have the Preciousss."
Gollum: "They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, filthsss!"
Sméagol: "No! No! Master!"
Gollum: "Yess. Preciousss first. They will cheat you, hurt you, lie!"
Sméagol: "Master's my friend."
Gollum: "You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you."
Sméagol: "Not listening. Not listening."
Gollum: "You´re a liar, and a thief."
Sméagol: "No."
Gollum: "Murderer!"
Sméagol: "Go away."
Gollum: "Go away?! Ahahhaa!"
Sméagol: "I hate you, I hate you!"
Gollum: "Where would you be without me? (gollum gollum). I saved us. It was me. We survived because of me!"
Sméagol: "Not anymore."
Gollum: "What did you say?"
Sméagol: "Master looks after us now. We don't need you."
Gollum: "What?"
Sméagol: "Leave now and never come back."
Gollum: "No!"
Sméagol: "Leave now and never come back!"
Gollum: "Arrrgh!"
Sméagol: "LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!"







John Hammond: All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, but John, if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.


Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this "six foot turkey" as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex, he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, from the other two 'raptors you didn't even know were there. Because Velociraptor's a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this... a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here... or here... or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is... you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know... try to show a little respect.
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WENDYS CREW!

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